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Well. We're trying to update and all, but it's being a pain in the ass. My computer recently crashed, I lost my FTP editor, we're moving the comics to Keenspace (read as it's not going to work for a while), we're having a lot of personal issues, we're milling about the country, and did I forget to mention that it's summer?
Well...Kaie-chan will no longer be posting, seeing as how none of us can get in touch with her really. If you don't know about the situation and you actually care, just don't bother asking. It's not really worth it.
We'll try to get things up and running soon. Peace.
So we haven't updated for over half a year...Big deal. ><
Also! My poetry/stories that don't make it here, or if you can't find your way around and don't know how to get to them on THIS site, then go to the following link:
New co-owner here. ^^ I, too, am on FP.Net, and also FF.Net (Terry's note: They're really one-in-the-same, they just moved all of their files because FP.Net works better. She has different files on each, though, thus she put both).
Well..I have an ironic piece to write today. If not ironic, then it's just going to be here. But there's a point to my ranting. The layout for today will go as follows: I'm going to compare the subject of the awareness of death and realization of this concept between a normal average human being and myself. If this becomes lengthy, gomen nesai, but I really don't care right now...
Average human being
When average kids grow up, they think that their parents are true idols.
They're gods, invincible people that can't die. Death is an oblivious thing
to these kids. They may see violence on TV, but they don't understand it until
they're at least 7. Now the death of pets is different. Most are told that they're
going to a 'better place', a heaven made for their species, and that they'll
always be with them. When they grow up, around 10 or so, they realize that things
die. That they will never come back until a supposed 'afterlife', or a heaven,
a reincarnation, or something of the sort. (I'm attempting to keep on good terms
with all of my religious friends, and I have many, though I'm mostly athiest
myself. Staying on good terms with everyone, the Baptists, Christians, Wiccans,
etc.) And this is when they realize that they lose their loved ones for a very
long time, if not forever. Though this becomes evident to them, they fail to
realize that their parents' immortality is fake. They still believe that nothing
will ever happen to them or their family. Problems may occur within the family
itself, but it rarely occurs to these children (or pre-adults, whatever age
group they may be in) that death can take someone very very close to them away.
I know at least a hundred people to whom it never dawns on. These are mostly
the insensitive people that don't or can't make a difference. And the only thing
to make them realize that everyone is vulnerable is having a close family member
die. But that usually doesn't happen for many many years, when the child is
a child no more.
Me
Now...I am *very* different from an average human being in this perspective.
I knew of death far too early. And here's the walk-through, I suppose...I came
very close to something that could or could not be considered death. My parents
divorced. I suddenly had no mother. It was considered a death, I suppose...This
was when I was 4. 1991. The next instance was in 1992, when I had moved from
Georgia to Florida, having moved in with my grandparents. I was playing in the
backyard when I tripped over something. I found a dead rabbit. Sure I had seen
road kill, but I had never come so close to something that had once been alive.
I was terrified, because I'd of course been hurt before and was aware that red
the color of blood on something was not a good sign. We buried the usagi in
the back yard, next to the small garden we had. Then my grandfather's mother
died, and I went to her funeral. I had no idea that this was indeed death. I
thought she was asleep inside a fancy bed. But when I realized that they were
putting her in the ground, I walked away. I hadn't known her, had only seen
her alive once, didn't care for her. So I just walked. Next, all of my pets.
My two ferrets that both died from flees, my oldest cat (who was 21, very close
to 22 when he died right before 2002. In fact it was December 31st, at 11:59:37
when he died..What a fucking great way to break in the new year), et cetera.
And, skipping ahead through the torment years of growing up with no friends,
to this year. Since September 11th, my grandmother has died, my stepmother went
to the hospital just this morning due to a heart attack...And I was reminded
once again just how vulnerable and possible it is for everyone I know to die.
Afternote
My point with all this is not to state the fact over and over that I'm completely
and utterly different and weird, but rather to point out that the average human
being is struck hard with the first death of a loved one. As a minor note, I
feel upmost sorry for the family dog here. Max's owner died on September 23rd
(fucking aye, I wasn't told until the 24th..), and since then, he has been the
BITCHIEST dog I've ever known. But I feel sorry for him because of this: He
has no idea that Sharon is dead. He thinks that she's coming home, but it's
taking her an eternity to come back. That's to him. At least I know that she's
never coming back, and I can cry over the misspent times we had, when she was
drinking and I was forced to hang around, when we listened to music and in the
final weeks when she quit drinking and was my best friend before she died...At
least I know she's not coming back. Max will always be waiting for her to return.
And there's no way for him to realize she's not coming back. He doesn't understand.
So concludes my rant for today..Thank you for putting up with me. I'm terrible, I know..Gomen nesai. But I had to get it off of my chest. And now that I have, the main high-lights of today are... *grin* I've gotten bored enough to write Kanji on my arms and hands, and then draw (literally, there's a samurai chicka on it right now) on my four-year-old Reeboks. Kickass. ^^ I'm done for now. Laters!
I'm very sick. It's from stress and many other things...I woke up with it about 2 days ago. I'm miserable. I also have a stalker!!! My ex is stalking me because that bastard can't take a hint that I said no! He called me and said "We're still friends right, BTW I'd like you to meet my new girl friend." He isn't making me jealous as intended but is pissing me off instead! It hurts me to think that someone is out to get me like that. I'm pretty nice to everyone else! ASK TERRY!!!! I was gonna do that to him if I ever ran into him. I thought about it and (note that this was before he called) said no. I shouldn't. It was rude and I would only be going to his level. Now what shall I do? Ever lovely dovely couple in my school is shoving this right in my face!!! My head is throbbing!!! I don't think I'll be well in time for me to project my lines in Drama class! I want to cry....... no one loves me, I'm sick, and someone is creeping me out.... someone please give me chocolate! It will heal a little.....: ( Did I also mention it hurts my wrists to write and my back and shoulders are bruised! DAMN IT! There is one thing that is keeping me happy. Terry is in such a good mood and she is so happy with Michael! That is the only thing I look forward to. I rather her be happy than myself. She is my best friend! ^^ and also, If she doesn't have me her Angel to watch her, no one will watch her.
Arigatou for your concern, Christi-chan...^^ I feel special. For many reasons!
Now...Not only have me and Michael gotten back together, but my school's going okay, I'm having fun, my anime perspective is broadening again, as well as my musical preference. I'll never grow tired of my anime music. EVER. But I'm starting to grow to like other stuff, like the music of 'today', going back to the rat-pak, that sorta stuff...Waii...And..Lesse..
It's Jon's bday. ^^ I remembered! And I'm getting him a vid of my choice (we're into the same stuff, most of the time..) as well as another bit thingie..And..Yea, I remembered. ^^ I don't know what vid I'm going to get him yet, but I'm going to Comic Universe when I have some extra cash. So gomen nesai if it's late, Jon-kun!!
And..Let me think..I can draw again! YES!!!! And..Christi-chan's getting better..and..David's getting stuff verified for me..and..
While I may be in a good mood, I have several reasons not to be. Being pressured for good grades to an extreme point, major pressure about my life (low funds, may get kicked out, what I'm going to be when I get out of school, what I should take, and all that other jazz), stuff having to do with everything, really. My family's not really getting better, but my mood is too good to mess up right now. ^^
More stuff that's cheering me up..The massive collection of AMVs I have. ^^ Some of them are just THAT funny, to put me in such a good mood. And..everyone's happy that I'm happy for once. Normally if I have the slightest good day, everyone else is having a bad day..And..The fact that I'm not faking my happiness is just excellent. Normally I fake my emotions, you know, pretend I'm happy, because I've always had the mask of the joker in my life, especially since last year when my life started to spiral to hell. But today I haven't needed to act! My happiness is real! ^^ The one day that I don't have to pretend! You can't imagine how good that makes me feel. I've had to for so long, and today I don't! ^^
And..Um..Yes. Jon's turn. ^^
Wow.. It’s been a while since I’ve done this .. Shot my promise to hell about trying to do this everyday didn’t I ?..heheh… Well , I’m one year older and hopefully .. One year wiser as well. Today has gone pretty well ( considering it’s only about 12:30 now) and.. As for b-day plans , I was considering going bowling , ya know.. Just cause I really want to beat everyone at it . Kay.. Uhm.. Song of the day time , hai ? Well.. Okay.. Incubus . Make yourself. Excellent song , and I guess it fits the whole 18th B-day mood I’m in today . I can finally do some adult things.
Yes, it's finally being updated...Shoot me, please. Really. I hate life right now. I'm hyper, though. Go figure.
My friends are avoiding me. *glare* People that once talked to me everyday are now pushing me away, forgetting about me...And I've only been told once that I won't be forgotten. I don't know why that hurts. Really. I don't know why.
On a happy note....Right. No, seriously. I'm regaining my otaku title, no thanks to Fate for making me feel bad about how much I've missed out in the world of anime lately. I feel like a gameshow host...But I have gotten back into the spirit of watching and downloading (and definately listening to the music of) anime. Rurouni Kenshin, Inuyasha, Angel Sanctuary, Weiss Kreuz, Comic Party...All of my top animes are coming back! YES!
Which reminds me that the sister site of Terry's Insanity should be up and working soon, with another 100-meg site. Yes, that's right. The Anime Revolution is coming to a town near you soon. We'll be working on that in our spare time, if we can get that. I might actually think to update this when school starts back up...Gomen I haven't in so long, but I said a while back I'd stop ranting, right? Oh well...It's not like anyone reads this...
In other news, um...I'm hungry...
And strangely I have the guts to say this but I really hate
Andrew Lloyd Webber right now! How dare he cast Antonio Banderas as the Phantom
in an upcoming movie! Damn him! MICHAEL CRAWFORD IS THE ROLE!!!!! What a complete
idiot! I made a poster for a site whose mission is to get Michael the part and
not Antonio! Every time I look at ALW's picture, I either sneer, moan in disappointment,
or turn the page as fast as I can. This is so unforgivable! I am like a Pope
you could say in The Phantom religion! This is a deathly sin!!!!!! I don't know
if I can find it in my heart to forgive.... Nice as I am... I just don't know...This
is the poster....
Continuing with my rant...Gomen ne, Fate-kun.
Let's see...Oh yes. Major updating and things of the sort. I've said it before that I'll put up fanfics, if people would send them in. So yes, if you would..^^
The only other thing I want to put is that...Yes. *random point at DBC* This is getting to be pretty big, so I'm going to have to start breaking it up into pages of rants (like, 5 entries per page, or more depending on size), but I wanted to run this by Fate and Christi-chan before I did anything.
It's not like anyone reads the DBC that much, and this page is around 40k. Plus yea, it'd be a good thing to put some of this stuff in the past. But maybe I should just delete it?
Asking of you two, I am...Up to you guys.
Waaah..I went to Jillian's yesterday..And I played the literal mall version of DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!!! But there it was another game exactly like it called "Pump it Up, The Premier". Well..Let me say this..As amatuers, me and Christi-chan went, kicked ass, and chewed gum. Muha. We were showed up by some pros that probably go there every few days. We kicked ass, considering it was our first time on an actual game pad. That was just awesome.
Right. So I stop and everyone else stops. You shiseiji (no offense to Roslyn meant)... So I actually have to keep this up? That's not fair..You jerks..
I'm not even going to rant. I've figured out that no one really cares besides Christi-chan. She's the only one that really does anything about it. So no more ranting unless I'm insanely hyper when I can't think straight enough to keep myself away from it.
Good. See ya.
Well. I'm beyond tired. I'm food-deprived. My sanity is slipping. This is all good, right? Aiya, I don't feel good..Not like it matters..In fact, me no rant no more..I'll let Christi-chan and Fate have the DBC..I'll just be the poster unless I feel strongly again..
Says the girl with spirals for eyes..><..
Well..Um..I'm 15. Whoopie. I'm not happy.
The car that I was suppose to be getting in a couple of years has been wrecked. 1991 Dodge Shadow, convertible edition, in perfect condition other than the top and the tires, both of which are easily replaced. Yattenai totaled. Baka busu slammed into him at a 4-way stop, his go. Slammed right into the car. Had I been in the car, I would be hospitalized right now. Which would suck.
In other news, I avoided groundment! The 'rents lifted the supposed three-week-groundment-from-the-computer because of lack of funds for a true bday present. So I'm grateful for having my comp back. I was going to miss it dearly. That would've sucked.
But I'm still pissed. There are countless reasons. But here's one. Now, all of the girls I hate are known as Relenas, and the boys are known as Raouls. For each of these, there are four different levels. When I finally get the Feature of the Week posted, then all will be explained. Let's just say I'm not the favorite of a group of the highest bitching Relenas. They are not my friends right now, the damned hypocrites.
Anyway..I'm emotionally hurt, but no one cares about that..Nor do they care that I'm physically drained or, technically, emotionally impaired..But..Yea. No one cares. Bah on you all.
And what is wrong with X Japan, Fate? Eh? EH!?
Insert random sound effect here. Fate is back with a vengeance, why am I vengeful ?.. Cause I feel like it . My rant today will be based on school , more specificially , the stupid assignments you get from teachers , especially English ones. Okay.. if you are supposed to make memoirs of your writings, WHY CREATE NEW ONES ? I mean.. I'm a writer ( not a good one , but a writer none the less) , why should I have to create entirely new works when my PC is crawling with stories I've been told are good , but in my opinion are absolute crap ( I'm my own worst critic ) . Get in touch with me , see my previous rant for all that stuff about getting my contact . Uhm.. The song for the day is.. Warm Machine by Bush . Unless you are some wierd kinda otaku which means the song for everyday is something by X Japan ( jah , you know who I'm talking about ^.^ ) Well... Later people , or lack thereof that read this stuff .
Okay, forgive me for ever farging helping. I'm going to stay out of peoples' way now, since it seems that I can't help with any yattenai thing. So guess what; screw it all, have fun with your lives. I'm going to maintain my hell and all of you can just shove off. I'm sick of being proven wrong on things that I have no clue about. How the yatten should I know! Don't ask me for anything anymore if you don't want my shimatta help! And another thing, I am damned sick of being fully outcasted. No one goes above and beyond what they can do for me. The only exception would be Christi-chan getting me an Invader Zim shirt for my bday. Otherwise no one gives a damn and I'm shoved aside. No one talks to me, no one notices me if I do something different, no one mentions me for anything.
If I offended anyone, I meant it. I'm not in a good mood, but Serial Experiments Lain music and three Rurouni Kenshin DVDs are starting to help. But still. Yatenn subete anata ne.
After much deliberation, I've decided to make Fate..*dun dun dun* One of us. So welcome to it, as it was said yesterday. Now..Um..The comic is underway, I dunno if Fate's going to be in it or not, and I'm tired as hell. Why? I'm actually TRYING to draw and it takes forever. So guess what? There's going to be a lot of *Artist Has Crashed* or *Dead Terry* days. Oh well. Anyway..Drowsiness..I'm..going go try to finish the third panel before I take a nap..
I have to go to my dermatologist today :P. Usually it's no big deal. Today it is!!!! SHOT ON MY HIP INCISION! OUCHY OUCHY OUCHY!!! The MR. Man better have a numbing cream of some sort! ^_^* I hate needles! Even after surgery I still can't handle them! I haven't I gone through enough with these damn hospitals? Ya know, I know my Ma is only trying to help and the Doc too, but I just wish the was a less painful way to go through with it. >.< This is gonna suck!
This was changed to six shots when she was actually there. I'M SO SORRY, CHRISTI-CHAN!!!
And now I know how Fred Gallagher feels when he spends 8 hours on a comic.. >< Aiya..
Boom , Fate agian , and the topic of my rant today ....is.... stupid people . I can't stand em, if you are one of them , don't even bother reading the rest of this , I will use words that will discombobulate you and it would behoove you to get a dictionary to understand me. I love using big words.. Lots of fun . Anyways.. my ranting about stupid people. In my belief , if you get into high school , and are still dumb as dirt , You have lost all hope . I will treat you like a child because you think like one , Deal with it . If you think a bridge is a NATURAL feature.. I am probably going to hurt you eventually. So.. Time for me to be happy ?.. I guess I'll tell you more about myself . MUSIC , Lovely lovely thing , and I listen to most of it. Classical to Punk , excluding C-rap (read crap) and R and B music , I absolutely detest those kinds of music . Uhm.. My song for the day is.. Incubus - Nice to know you . If you share my beliefs and stuff , get in contact with me . Fate849 ( AIM ) Tobias_hawk14@hotmail.com ( email .. duh.) and Armand Destani is my fanfiction.net name . Read my stuffs . Have fun . Until I rant again .
This is my last rant of the day because I'm seriously pissed. Why does everyone hate me. Truly. Everyone does. If there is a God, he taunts me with teeth in sight. I swear it. Whatever higher powers there are, they mock me. Everyone demands something from me, from my patience to my 'obedient' services. I'm extremely sick of it. No one really tries to settle me down because I'm always a calm damn person. Well guess what; I canNOT take it anymore. If you piss me off, you will know so immediately. I'll yell at you, I'll threaten you, I'll tell you to leave me the yatten alone.
And I'm following Fate's example for a moment. Stupid people are pissing me off severely. I don't want to be bothered with idiotic comments from slow typers. If you can't look beyond the obvious, I'll give you a perscription of my-fist-in-your-face for a very long-term eye-correcting treatment.
Now really. This is applying to all my 'friends', too. Yatten subete anata ne. Loose translation: Fuck you all. I'm not in a good mood, and none of you bakas are helping.
By the way, my dreams have once again been shattered. Though my sources are as broad as day, I unfortunately have no money to buy anime of any kind. Wall scrolls are exceptionally cheap in one store, though they're out of a lot of kinds I want, they're extremely cheap AND I CAN'T GET ANY. YATTEN NE!!!!!!!!!
It's ME again!! I did a bad thing last night.. >< I caused a bit of a panic through my house..I brought the memory of my grandmother back on accident and nearly lost my record for never crying in public. So that wasn't good. But I made one of the best meals in my life. ^^
So. As seen on the main page, this site will be hosting anti-bitch things every now and then. They'll be in the soon-to-come Feature of the Week section, which will hopefully be updated every Sunday starting on the 9th. ^^ The first one to go up, of course, will be Anti-Relena. Because she's just really a bitch. She must die. Really. Thank you to Yamato for this insane idea. Her Relena Torture Game is just..wonderful. I love.
I'm on a bit of a ranting while listening to Weiss Kreuz music. Aya sounds funky when he yells "Takatori!!!" I find it hilarious, but.. *sniff* Aya's so..bishy..But Omi will forever be the best to me. ^^ He's just so awesome! And Yoji is just awesome. Ken reminds me of someone..Ack. Oh well. All these characters will be explained in the upcoming review of Weiss Kreuz at the AR site. Muha.
Going on, I'm soon going to get my comic back up. I've seriously slacked on it lately and I can't think of a good reason why. I just haven't been inspired enough to do my own comic, so I've unfortunately been ripping off comics from Little Gamers and recoloring them for my own comic. >< I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Please don't sue me!! But yes..I'll be doing my own again soon, now that I carry my drawing book around with me again.. Sigh, I didn't mean to get so far behind. So I have to start all over again. DAMMIT!!
Okay..I'm done for now. I may go again later. Ona!
(For Japanese translations, go here. I understand not everyone has a dictionary.)
My Ma compared my future to a pair of pants. The belt didn't loosen easy so I asked for some help. I said " Pants aren't supposed to be this complexed to get off." She said " you give up too easy, some actress you'll be." I said " Ma, it's a pair of pants." She said " So , it's a life lesson." That is one of the lamest things I've ever heard of. My Ma is normally kewler than that! That was not a good moment for her or me.
Well, Here I am , a co-owner and I haven't posted a rant yet ?.. Shame on me . I'm Fate , resident mecha freak( Note that key word folks , FREAK . I think too literally at times and it sucks when I point out a machine will never be able to work . Just damn my engineering teacher for that ^.^) , athiest , and amateur writer . My rants will prove to be an exercise in my patience , cause if I don't do 'em , I'm probably gonna be pissed at somebody during the day ( Referring to previously mentioned engineering teacher ). Lessee.. I should explain my moods .. Usually I am a laid back conservative guy ( if you don't know what these words mean , look them up , I don't like people who ask me to explain sentences ) , but as my friends know , I can be mean , evil , sadistic and all around a not nice person to be with . Uhm.. I'm SUPPOSED to be a senoir in high school , but I got screwed over on the credits system ( long story) . So for those of my friends that are graduating and leaving a "friend" behind , go to whatever hell you believe in. I think I've shown enough of my moods in just this rant , so I'll let you get back to random pop culture worship .
Fate, I'm going to kill you. You're not the only mecha freak. Omae o korosu!! Robana!!
Yea..Well..I'm..not in a good mood..Or getting that way. I CAN'T DRAW!! SHIMATTA!! Grrr...
Moving on. I'm seriously pissed at this moment. I feel worthless to everyone. You know why? Because all of the people I knew forever ago that used to talk to me seem to totally hate me now. They refuse to talk to me. All of my old friends have just totally ditched me. Dammit. I'm seriously pissed. I feel so shitty. Bah.
Bah..Anyway. I'm gone. Really.
Damn the world to hell and back, I've returned with new inspiration. Welcome again to my rant corner. From now on, I'm going to have to split this up into two sections. Christi-chan will have a part in this, just as I do. So we'll start marking which rant is which for each day. Kay? Good.
Now this is not good. I'm failing biology again, but that's okay. I don't care. One of my friends, Michael, has gone to military school..And there's a void in my Sonic playing because of this. >< COME BACK, MICHAAAAAAAAAAAAEL!!!! FFVII IS CORRUPTING MY HABITS!! Help meeeeee... *sniff*
In other news, there's a new dude at my school. Hai, Brian. (NOT NEW YORK. Hell no.) He's basically a male extrovert version of me. I swear it. Example: We were walking out of the school with Christi-chan, Minako, and Katie. Me and Ry-chan (nickname..Me and Christi-chan go 'Ry-chan shounenai!' a lot..) hit the doors at the exact same time and started singing 'Brass Monkey' by the Beastie Boys. Same exact time. I swear it. He jinxed me and I had to give up a buck. >< But what's scary is that we look almost exactly alike, we think too much alike, and we met in gym and hit it right off with the classic topic of anime mechanics and music. Nice guy. Really. He's jumping a few of my projects, but I don't mind.
Um.. I'm done for a while..If you guys haven't seen, I have a bunch of new stuff going on, like revamping the Japan section into the new Anime Revolution site, etc... Anyway, I'm gone. And here's Christi-chan for her rant.
Look at what one of my reviews was for my phic. I'm so disappointed
with myself. Am I really that horrid? They might as well have stabbed me through
my heart. I'm crying as I type this email. They insulted my love for my muse.
They killed my idea because of a few mistakes! I'm so upset!
They killed my soul. They killed my heart! Why do I even bother to have this
obsession with The Phantom of the OPera. I offically have nothing to live for
right now. I am in a depression until someone can show me one good damn reason
of why I should go on with this.
The broken Angel,
Christine Muhlhien
This person calls themselve the : Devils Advocate : quoth_the_sparrow@yahoo.com
This story could use a lot of work. To begin with, there
are quite a few grammar and spelling mistakes. Furthermore, the characters are
acting OOC and there is little to no substance. The plot is barely there. It
could really use some fleshing out, especially as far as descriptions and character
motivations go. The Raoul-suddenly-becomes-a-jerk-so-Christine-returns-to-Erik
plot is so overused, it takes some real talent to bring any life to it whatsoever.
And this story is definitely not doing anything for me. I would suggest working
on going a little more in depth into things. And don't write the whole chapter
in two paragraphs.
P.s. I looked at his profile on fanfiction.net. He hasn't written a single thing.
Just look : http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=188511
Poor Christine.. *hugz* I've tried to cheer her up as best as I can since this happened. We've recently gotten into the fanfiction.net craze-type thing, and a lot of people just don't understand. *sigh*
If you wish to look us up..I don't know if Christine has kept hers up, but my pen name is Terry Fuse. Hers should be Roslyn Renee, though I'm not sure. Feel free to browse our current work on that site, though there's not much by either of us yet.
Yes, I managed to survive the terrible turnover to the year 2002. My cat, the oldest cat in my house at the age of 22 who we'd had all of my life, died December 31st. Joyful day.. We buried him on the first of January, 2002. The oldest cat in Rowland History, Rumpleteazer, will always be remembered. Now on to other crap.
I've gotten into the group X Japan more than anything in my interest field lately. I'm obsessed with their music. So, damn Danielle for ever letting me listen to them in November. And she's close to getting me hooked on Gackt, but that hasn't happened yet.
I'm taking my Otaku-ness a step further by attempting to paint my walls with anime scenes, or at least characters and logos from the major animes. Now my parents have talked some sense into me and convinced me that this isn't the best thing to do. Instead, get canvases. You heard me right! I'm going to draw my pictures on canvases so I can take them around with me and annoy the hell out of people like you. HEHEHEHEHEHE!
Ah. Now. My..announcement. I'm not going to be online (on my messengers) for..a while. I..just don't feel like communicating with anyone for a while. I've lost most of my inspiration for my writing that doesn't involve death or blood, I can sing with such an intense flare that no one's seen before that it's scary, my drawing is gaining substance from lack of use (thank God it's returning!), and I'm a deeply troubled person.
Well. If none of you knew, my dad was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis last summer. Since then he's only gotten worse. He can hardly talk, especially when he's angered, he has a terrible time trying to walk or use his right side in general... He's been put on a shot every other day on a drug called Betaseron that's suppose to slow down the process that MS does. He's also had to have dozens of tests run because the symptoms he has is like nothing the doctors have ever seen before. At one point they thought it was vasculitis, which is what they originally thought. My first impression was, screw that, you dumbasses took forever saying that it was MS and then said for certain it was MS, now fuck what you say, that's what you said. Unfortunately the Betaseron might be the cause of my fathers' occasional seizures. So we're sorta screwed right now.
If this isn't bad enough, my grandfather's going on a trip as soon as he can to Florida to attempt to make some money. When I turn 15, I'm almost literally going to be forced to get a job as soon as I can. Now here's a really deep and touching aspect that hurts me sometimes. My stepmother's going to legally adopt me. I'm fine with this. The reason is, if my father..does..die..then Liz (my real mother) can legally come take me away (which I doubt she'd attempt anyway). Now personally I'd kill her before she tried anything. I can't stand her. I've hated her for the longest amount of time. But if she tried to take me away after so many tragic things have happened around me, I'd kill her on the spot. So my stepmother's going to legally adopt me so Liz can't do anything about it, if anything happens.
Now that my family problems are somewhat out of the way, I'm failing a class, close to failing others, I've had an insufficient amount of sleep for the past few months, have lost my appetite entirely (I can't feel my stomach. I've gotten punched in my gut and I couldn't feel it), have to force myself to eat, and I'm going through multiple personal issues. Let's put it this way. I'm a confused womirl (woman/girl, take your pick..) with a lot on her mind. And since this is by no means a journal, I won't share it.
So. My artwork. Yeah. Posted. Somewhere else.
That's all for today, I suppose.. I'll..put more up when I feel like it..
Um.. Well.. Yes.. My grandmother died.. And.. That was like, the 23rd of September.. Since then, I've sung in my Fall concert and prepared for my Winter concert.. The week before the Winter concert, my chorus teacher was killed in a car wreck in Athens, Georgia, almost exactly two years after her 18-year-old sister was killed in a similar car wreck. The anniversary of the younger sisters' wreck was the Thursday after our concert performance, which was postponed until January.
Getting off this subject for fear of crying, I'm opening a new section up. The fanfics section. Mhm. The point of this is to one, get publicity towards my site, and two, publicize my friends' works of literature. This is a good thing, yes.
I'm getting better at spriting! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! CGing is becoming easier and easier. Drawing on the other hand is becoming harder and harder. Why? Because I draw too damn much! I've used up my talent for the moment.. >< Dammit!
But while my artwork has slackened, my writing has picked up. I've come up with a new story (or rather a new version of an old story). Many people remember the oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooold character of Tiger/Relisna from when I first started chatting. Yes, I've finally gotten around to writing her story from a good point of view. Religious people beware, I was feeling good with adjectives Friday night.
BLEWAHAHAHAHA! NEW COMPUTER!! My dad got a new Compaq (I believe), and I've expressed to him how much Compaq really sorta sucks.. But I got his old computer, so I'm not complaining. Of course, he has two 40 gig hard-drives. So I'm regaining my movies, music, and other random things that will clutter part of his system. He doesn't mind now. He has plenty of space. BLEWAHAHAHAHA!
GUESS WHAT I GOT FOR CHRISTMAS! You're right. A McClaren F1. Nah.. I wish, but nah. I got a How-To-Draw-Manga-Manga book, Japanese dictionary.. Immediately I told my parents that they are doomed. They agreed. I got other random things, including this sexy black velvet shirt thingie........
As for what I got, I only got three presents for people outside my family. A Rurouni Kenshin vid for Jon, a 3X3 Eyes comic book for Michael, and 4 Sailor Moon comics for my best friend, Roslyn. *Sorry everyone else!* I got this glass fountain thing for my dad. Guess what happened. Cats broke it. How I found out? I impaled a shard in my foot. ><!
Moving on.. I'm exasperated. Why? My friend, Brian, who lives in New York, is moving down to live with me, in my house, for at least a month. I'm cool with this. I suggested it. I offered it. But I'm afraid of another Johnny experience. O.o If you don't know, don't ask.
I think I'm done.. *pant*
*sigh* Okay.. Um.. Time to tell.. My grandmother had a stroke Tuesday night/Wednesday morning.. She's been in the hospital since then and she's hooked up to all sorts of machines.. She has lung and liver cancer.. And.. well.. the doctors are pulling the plug.. and..
Kay... Of course, this is Saturday... A week since I last updated this section... And I'd like to express my patrionism by saying that I'm deeply troubled by the recent attacks on New York's World Trade Center and the Pentagon. To show my patrionism, which is an odd thing for ME of all people, I called in to all of my local radio stations and requested that they play Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA" and set up a flag both by my mailbox and on one of the support beams on my house. This doesn't seem like much, but I feel that these two steps have put a tear in peoples' eyes and pride in their hearts that the United States will not take this lying down but will go to flat out war to bring the opposer to justice. And this is coming from me of all people, I know, but I was deeply troubled when it happened. Mostly because everyone in my class when I first heard about it wouldn't shut up, but instead, they were laughing. This put the thought in my head that my generation is highly insensitive to what happens around them. So I've done what I can to ensure that everyone knows I mean business when something major happens and that Tuesday troubled me to the extent of being patriotic and giving everyone hope that the United States will regain what they have lost as far as pride is, but as for the lives that have been lost, I cannot do anything to help but express my deep condolences. On a lighter note, I'm coming down with the flu and cleaning my house to the brink of a new thing-TOTAL CLEANNESS. My father got his new drug and has yet to try shooting himself (with a needle/syringe.. We weren't able to get the gun in time). I'm failing biology because of missing three days (ack). That's because I couldn't get the notes, so I didn't know what I was doing, and nearly failed a test, plus I didn't turn in the assignments that I was suppose to. So I was sorta messed on that. Anyway. I've finally regained my writing creativity and am putting it to good use to bring you people nothingness stories and plots for comics that I haven't been able to get for well over a year. I'm drawing somewhat decently.. Although I'd like to be able to draw a lot better. I miss my good drawings from way back, like when I drew the simple yet cool-looking Diamond picture. I've been able to come up with good plots lately, which is a good thing, cause I've had my brain working since then, too. ^-^ I got my brain kicked into high gear a few days ago and was able to come up with three different plots, continuations, whatever. But hey, I was happy with it. And anyway, I'll be updating the rest of the page throughout the month. So hopefully I'll put it up on the web. ^-^ On anime notes, I've become obsessed over the movie Akira, BUT I HAVE TO DELETE IT SOON BECAUSE IT TAKES UP TOO MUCH DAMN SPACE!!! ~cries~ Anyway.. Um.. Yu-gi-oh! King of Games is premiering soon... The WB and Cartoon Network are starting to switch programs.. They're showing Pokemon on Cartoon Network and Toonami on the WB.. I'M PISSED AT THAT. Anyway.. Um, they're showing new eps of DBZ and they started DragonBall.. When they finish with DBZ, they have copyrights for Dragon Ball GT. SO GOKU COMES BACK AS A MIDGET DUDE WHEN TRUNKS IS A CHIBI!! AAAAAAAAH!! Cuteness! I'm gonna love that series!! Anyway.. I'm gonna go update the rest of the site as much as I can. See ya.
Ai, ai hei, konnichiwa. I don't believe how long it's been... Okay, well, full updates, I guess. I'M IN A TOTALLY BITCHY MOOD!!!! I'VE BECOME THIS WAY!! I'M STAYING THIS WAY!! I LIKE IT!! But anyway.. Uh, the biggest thing is that my dad freaked me out with his operation, which took place almost two months ago.. It seemed like he died or something. But he came out of it okay, and his operation, which was a partial labodomy, went okay. He's been moody since then, but I can deal with that.. For how long, I'm not sure. Uuuuuuh, I started high school last month, and it's a lot smaller than I thought it would be. I mean, it ain't tiny, but hell, it's smaller than I expected. -_-* The problem with my saying that is when I have to go across the entire complex/campus to get to the library I feel like an idiot.. Bah.. High school isn't all that great of a place, but I guess it's decent. Anyway. Uh, me and Ros made up. We're best friends again. ^-^ I'm somewhat grateful. She was one of the coolest people I'd met and I didn't feel like hating her for eternity. Anyway, she's back. I have to update the About Us thing... Eh, oh well. Um.. I've gotten into Anime heavily, mostly because I went to Dragon Con, and JEEZ WAS IT FUN!!! I loved it!! I was on the anime tracks mostly, watching anime shows, debating about Gundam Wing being shojou anime because of Milliardo, and things of the sort. And a few good drawings came from my boredom while sitting in that room. And I think I've gone through a while.. Uh, me and Paul are no longer together, yadda yadda yadda, he cheated on me with my best friend, blah blah blah, I'm still severely pissed at him, yea, yea yea. I don't want to go into too much detail there or I'll destroy the keyboard. Anyway, I think I'm pretty much done for the day.. I've typed my fingers out for a while, and I must go update other parts ot the site, mostly because I deleted it off Angelfire on the 7th and I'm putting it all together. Yea, sorry I scared everyone like that by taking my site off the net. I thought it was utter crap, so I decided to add to it and make it better. Well.. Somewhat better. It's not going to be the greatest, obviously. But who the hell would think I'd throw the past four years of my life away just like that? Just about everybody, cause I'm just like that. But it's not a big thing. The site will be back, of course.